K-Rod, arm still intact
East
1. New York: Actually shored up their bullpen this season, provided K-Rod’s arm doesn’t fall off.
2. Philadelphia: Hitters facing Brett Myers should be happy with anything other than a punch out, literally.
3. Florida: Hanley Ramirez won’t be “sick of this shit” if they actually challenge for the playoffs. Unfortunately for him, they probably won’t. Still not a bad looking team though.
4. Atlanta: Jeff Francoeur is still in search of his first career walk.
5. Washington: Elijah Dukes has gone almost two years without threatening to kill one of the mothers of his 29 children — who said he’d never change?
Toronto's own Joey Votto
Central
1. Chicago: One and done in the playoffs, once again.
2. Milwaukee: Great young lineup, might have an ace in Yovani Gallardo. No word on whether or not Prince Fielder is taking Big Cec’s calls yet.
3. St. Louis: Chances of Ryan Ludwick having the type of season he had last year are about one in 12,925.
4. Houston: At least they still have Roy Oswalt, one of the game’s best pitchers.
5. Cincinnati: JOEY VOTTO.
6. Pittsburgh: Still reeling from their loss to Manatee Community College last week. Seriously.
Manny being Manny
West
1. Los Angeles: Prediction — Manny hits .526 with 100 home runs this season.
2. Arizona: Lots of good young hitters. Should challenge for the division title and wildcard.
3. San Franscisco: The Big Unit goes for his 300th win at age 54. Not to take anything away from him, since he didn’t reach the majors until he was 39.
4. Colorado: This team was in the World Series two seasons ago? Congratulations National League, you should be proud.
5. San Diego: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means “a whale’s vagina”.
Awards:
MVP: Manny Ramirez, Los Angeles
Cy Young: Johan Santana, New York
Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin, Florida
